Self-Portrait with the Opioid Epidemic

By Nikki Ummel

for Mackinzie Fakih (1993–2022)

We slept on your floor,
named the coy dust bunnies
after old flings. Played cassettes
on repeat until the tapes ripped,
then sang a cappella
until our lungs collapsed.
Here. On your studio floor.
Bare mattress, stage left.
Your legs at right angles,
you told me you felt
nothing.
I pulled your head into my lap
and lit tiny fires
in my hands,
to keep you here,
a little longer.
Here. Where I found you.
The fire out.
I sang you home.

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Nikki Ummel is a queer artist in New Orleans. Nikki has been published in Gulf Coast, The Georgia Review, and others. She is the 2022 recipient of the Leslie McGrath Poetry Prize. She has a poetry chapbook, Hush (Belle Point Press, 2022) and a hybrid chapbook, Bayou Sonata (NOLA DNA, 2023). You can find out more at www.nikkiummel.com.